[“Let Inga Tell You,” La Jolla Light, published April 1, 2020] ©2020
In the last year or so, I’ve been able to reconnect on a more positive
basis with my first husband, “Fred,” from whom I’ve been divorced since 1983.
He’s been ailing and I’m probably the only one around who remembers his
parents, his family home in New Jersey, and certainly his medical school years
at Albert Einstein in the Bronx.
Pleasantville, NY, where I grew up was exactly 22.8 miles from Albert
Einstein but the Bronx might as well have been in another galaxy. I met Fred at
a college mixer at a not-NYC school. He’d been in the area visiting his physician
uncle, his mentor. It was Yom Kippur 1967 and Fred picked me out as the most
Jewish-looking girl in the room. Actually, all the real Jewish girls were home
atoning.
Fred invited me to spend the day in NYC the next weekend and, wanting
to impress me on his meager medical student budget, took me to a well-known
deli. Let me just say that Pleasantville was not exactly the food capital of
the world, having exactly one restaurant, the Pleasantville Diner. The gastronomic
delights of New York delis were unknown to me.
So I could be forgiven for replying to his ordering bagels and lox for
us with, “What’s a lock?” I have never lived down that line. It was
Fred’s first clue that I was not Jewish. But by that time, there I was sitting
across from him.
At first I couldn’t imagine that anyone would want to eat fish for
breakfast but not wanting to be rude, I ate it when it arrived. And thus began
my 50-year love affair with smoked salmon and its luscious cousin, gravlax, and
in fact, fabulous food in general. If I am to thank Fred for anything, it is for
introducing me to the wonders of cheap ethnic foods of all persuasions which
New York has in abundance.
I initially held out on Chinese food convinced I didn’t like it after
being subjected to a dinner of canned chow mein when our family was quarantined
for polio in August of 1955. When a meal is so awful that you remember it for
the rest of your life, you know it was pretty terrible. But when you’re
quarantined, the food options are pretty limited. Even if there had been
Instacart, they sure as heck wouldn’t have delivered to us. Public fear of
polio was second only to nuclear war.
Fred’s roommate at Einstein was a guy named Richie Wu who would direct
him to hole-in-the-wall restaurants in Chinatown that were totally off the grid
and would write down in Chinese what to order. So within weeks of discovering
the wonders of New York delis, I was now an avid consumer of Chinese food as
well. Even chow mein.
But the food that both my ex and I remember above all else were the
many Italian restaurants in the Bronx – the veal and pepper sandwiches, clams
casino, scungilli fra diavolo. What’s interesting is that both my ex
and I can remember favorite dishes at specific restaurants in the Bronx to this
day. Just as horrible meals can be permanent imprints, so can great ones.
My food education was not without a few bumps. The cafeteria at
Einstein was kosher meaning that there were two separate kitchens, sets of
dishes, and serving lines depending on whether meat or dairy was being served.
Never were the two served together. So if you wanted a cheeseburger, you were
out of luck. Certain foods – including pork and shellfish – were never served
at all. Kosher law is fascinating and the reasons for its prohibitions were
hardly random. In the Middle East in the centuries before refrigeration,
shellfish went bad very quickly in the heat. Pigs, meanwhile, were thought to
be pretty indiscriminate eaters.
But I didn’t know all that initially and so can be forgiven for going
through the cafeteria lunch line at Einstein and ordering a ham sandwich. Turns
out what I was pointing to was pastrami. I didn’t know from pastrami. It was a
good thing we were at a medical center because I think at least half of those
cafeteria ladies needed to be resuscitated. Hey, give me a break. It wasn’t
like there was Google then where you could look this stuff up.
What I loved about that area of the Bronx then was that most of the
food emporia were little specialty food stores for meat, vegetables, baked
goods, and dairy. One night Fred and I decided to have French fries with the
steak we’d just purchased, and bought a single potato at the vegetable shop
next door. As the guy behind the counter rang it up, he queried drily, “Having
a pahty?” The humor came at no extra cost.
So this amazing food fest was going (mostly) wonderfully until Fred
decided some months later to introduce me to his parents. Stay tuned next week
for “Are you trying to kill your mother?”
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