[“Let Inga Tell You,” La Jolla
Light, published May 25, 2016] © 2016
I am totally in favor of a high school exit course
that every high school student would have to pass to graduate. In fact, mine
would be required of kids even before they were allowed to drop out since it
would be too scary to unleash them on the general public otherwise. Here would
be a few of the required topics:
(1) Basic credit card math. Let’s say you rack up
$1,000 in charges on your 15% annual interest credit card buying In-N-Out
Burgers and concert tickets before your parents confiscate the card. If you make
only a minimum monthly payment of $15 until it’s paid off, how much would you
end up paying back? (Answer: about
$2,200. And it would take you at least five years.)
(2) Apartment leases: How to read them. Important
word here: read. Yes, you really need to (read it). Including the fine print. Especially the fine print.
(3) Basic geography. Sweden and Switzerland are not
the same country. New England and England are different places. You do not need
a passport to travel from Texas to California. Failure to know these facts are
automatic fails.
(4) Laundry skills 101. Your mom always did your laundry,
so how hard can it be? Separating lights from darks isn’t just a plot by washing
machine manufacturers to make you run more loads. Clothes have something called
“labels” in them recommending washing - and drying - temperatures. If you do
not wish your favorite shirt to be reduced to munchkin size, pay attention. Also, when they say
“dry clean only,” they really mean it.
(5) Laundry skills 210: Dryers. If you have access
to one that isn’t in a laundromat there is something called a “lint filter”
that needs to be regularly cleaned. The alternative is burning down the house.
Easier just to clean the lint filter.
(6) Roommate math: Basic. You and three friends
decide to get an apartment together that costs $1,500 a month to get out from
under the thumbs of your annoying parents. (Free-dom! Free-dom!) What is your
share of the rent when (a) one of them loses his job at Burger King and can’t
pay (b) another one decides it’s cheaper to live at home despite the annoying
parents, and (c) they’re both, like, “Sorry, dude”?
(7) Roommate math: Advanced. Developing the skills
to avoid deadbeat roommates: priceless.
(8) Survey of world religions. There are lots of
different religious beliefs in the world. Misinformation about them leads to a
lot of confusion. Sometimes even wars.
(9) Internet Education. Just because you read it on
the internet doesn’t mean it’s true. In fact, there is a high likelihood it is
NOT true. Apply a critical filter to everything you read. (Yes, you actually
have one even if you’ve never used it.) Do NOT forward anything that says “Send
this to everyone you know!”
(10) Scam avoidance. It’s not just old people who
fall for these. That “free” ringtone you signed up for? It’s now a hefty (and hidden) fee on your
phone bill. On-line ads for cheap iPhones or luxury goods? Sorry kids, if it
sounds too good to be true, it really is.
(11) Payday Loans (a.k.a. “Selling your soul to the
devil.”). Do not EVER EVER EVER set foot into these places. We won’t even go
into the math. They are just a truly bad deal.
(12) Tax Returns. The federal EZ form is really
that. You can do it. Yes, you really can! It’s one page! It’s tempting to go to one of those places
that will do it for you and even advance you your refund, but be assured that
they’re going to take a hefty chunk of your refund in the process.
(13)
Automobile purchasing: Caveat Emptor. That’s Latin for “Do not believe a word
they say,” especially if it is a used car. No, it didn’t really belong to a
little old lady who only drove it to church.
(14) Dishwashers. You should be so lucky to have one
but they come pretty standard in rental apartments these days. Tempted to economize
by using liquid dishwashing soap instead of the stuff made for dishwashers?
Seriously bad idea. Everybody has to do it once but be prepared to find
yourself standing in your kitchen knee deep in bubbles.
(15) Survival cooking skills. It’s really expensive
to eat out for every meal, even fast food meals. It’s also really unhealthy.
When I was in graduate school, we had something called “Po’ Boy Tomato Soup.”
(Recipe: pour hot tap water over the contents of six McDonald’s ketchup
packets. Stir.) It’s totally gross. Learning
to make five basic meals that do not involve Top Ramen noodles isn’t hard. Stay
on the outside aisles of the supermarket when you shop and you’ll be fine.
And now…congratulations! Let the next chapter of
your life begin!
