http://www.huffingtonpost.com/inga/thinking-outside-the-wall_1_b_8426698.html
I don’t usually
write about political topics because it just isn’t my area of expertise, but this
whole immigration thing has prompted me to weigh in where my husband assures me
I shouldn’t. I should mention that my husband is a Republican and I am not, so
you might imagine that dinner table conversation on this topic is
spirited.
It just seems to
me that the Republican presidential candidates are not thinking outside the
wall. We who live in San Diego have an obvious interest in immigration issues
since we are (a) on the Mexican border, and (b) have a high population of the
very individuals that the Republican candidates wish to evict.
The
current crop of GOP candidates seem really fixated on building a
Great Big Wall along the U.S. border with Mexico similar to the one in China only
with more barbed wire. This will allegedly put a stop to the entry of rapist-drugdealer-criminals.
Then the only problem is to repatriate the undocumented folks who are already
here. Voilà! America will be great again!
Since
the office seekers don’t live on the border, or even in California, I feel
compelled to point out some issues they should be considering, and even some
alternatives.
First: San Diego, and California in general, is
known as a place that not only has a high population of undocumented persons,
but shamelessly employs them as well. There’s a long-standing joke in San Diego
that nobody in the county could run for a high public office because we’ve all
hired undocumented workers. Except, of course, that it’s not a joke. We really
can’t. It was no accident that on the podium at the Republican presidential debates,
every state in the union was represented except
California.
Even
when you hire an “American” company, the people who are dropped off at your
home are often undocumented, especially if a part of the job is particularly
nasty. As it turns out, the home owner is in violation of the law even if they
didn’t hire the illegals themselves. This means that there no lack of
of U.S. citizen miscreant-scofflaw-malfeasants in San Diego who will need to be harshly dealt with as well.
The
current plan, as espoused by one of the Republican candidates, is to deport the
undocumenti at a rate of some 500,000
a month, assuming a figure of 11 million illegal aliens in the country. But
now certain office seekers are saying the number could be as high as 34
million. Seriously, folks, could we pin
this down? It’s going to be tough nut to meet your quota if you don’t even know
how many you have in the first place.
This
could be a new question on the California State high school exit exam: If the
President wishes to deport undocumented aliens, including their annoying anchor
baby offspring, at rate of 11 to 34 million in 18 to 24 months, how many INS
helicopters will he need in the sky before it looks like the Ride of the Valkyries
scene in "Apocalypse Now"?
The
next issue is one they haven’t thought out at all: Beware
of what you wish for. Once the wall is up and the undocumented are gone,
the only produce the U.S. is going to be eating will be from Guadalajara, at
least until all those unemployed Americans who have been pining for careers as
tomato pickers come up to speed. It will be a YOOGE boon to the Mexican
economy.
And
here’s another short term issue the Republicans haven’t thought through: one
Republican contender claims he will force Mexico to pay for the Great Wall by
imposing sanctions. Good luck with that!
The Mexicans can just withhold the veggies. Sort of a guns-for-cauliflower
thing. The average American doesn’t care about NAFTA worker visas but it would
be a serious mistake to mess with the availability of organic kale.
This
whole deportation scheme will be tremendously time consuming and expensive, no
matter how you look at it. So if I were
a Republican president, I’d just cede the entire county of San Diego back to
Mexico, thereby deporting the undocumenteds
and punishing the employer-felons who hired them, all in one fell swoop.
Heck,
while you’re at it, let Mexico have the whole state. Trying to clear the undocumenteds
out the Central Valley agricultural areas is going to be onerous at best. It doesn’t matter if Mexico even wants
us. If you can make Mexico build a wall,
you can make them take California. Surely some legal hotshot can find a
loophole that will void the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo by which the U.S.
acquired California. Then: all yours, Mexico! Not to worry: it was a blue state anyway.
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